Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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