just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
