im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
