how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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