Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
