The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
