this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
