I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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