The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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