who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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