I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
