i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
