I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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