He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
