I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize