on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
