yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
