after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
