Whod you bang
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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