I will die if light touches me.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im holly from the hills drunk
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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