you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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