you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
