He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
