Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
