I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
