Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
