So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
