I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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