so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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