i think my tv is drunk
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
