woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
