I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
