it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
