Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
