pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Where is the hickey?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
