At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
