Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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