i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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