i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
