no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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