I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
