i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Let's get the cat blown out
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
