So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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