I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
