I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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