If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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