If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
