I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
