so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
