Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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