just come out here and I will go home with you...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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