i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
