Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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