I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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