Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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