Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
