dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
