Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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