I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
