He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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