If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
