We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
