I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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